02/16/2020
Well for craps sake. More than one sun rose and I'm sorry I didn't get to reach out to y'all. Damn, it was a busy weekend with all the sunshine, shootin' and drinkin' I did with by brothers. It's pretty funny to watch them tryin' to out do each other, knowing i'll beat 'em all. My creator, that friendly 'ol Kev, he gave me some good shootin' skills. He learned his wife pretty good too and even if she isn't a sharp shooter (yet), her love of it makes up for her still learnin'. So, we was out in the prairie south of town today. Set up some targets to blast away at. Had some old whiskey bottles, glass milk bottles (who really drinks that stuff???), a few brown jugs we is usin' for our moonshine. Clay (I think he's the youngest brother) well, he tried and tried and dang if he just couldn't hit the broad side of a barn. I shouldn't, but I love to pick on him. So Sam (he might be the oldest) felt sorry for him and they wondered off to shoot at some prairie dogs. I know some of you is gonna be all uppity about us doing that, but its our way. I call it recycling. We shoot 'em. The big birds and other animals eat 'em and they don't make a mess out of the farm lands and making the farmers all upset. The farmers like us, for taking out those buggers. So yup, it was a good weekend. with blue sky's and sunshine, even if cold....... and purdy sunsets. Typical Wyoming country
I want to tell you a little more about my "Emporium" adventure. You already know I was born from a gentle man we knew as "Kev". It still pisses me the hell off that something like ugly f'n cancer (I'm not wanting to offend anyone by saying f***,but I call it f***ing cancer all the time) took him away from us all. He had a plan.......to open a sport bar (what the hell is that??) with a tap house (must be all about making cigars) I know I am a bit older, but he made me, so I should be as smart as him, that sneaky varmint!! Anyway before he got that damn sickness, he had plans to quit work some day and open this place. Name it Madame Opals. For a spell, he wanted to call it "Madame Opals House of ill Repute". His bride didn't take too kindly to that name so I think he was changing his mind. He said it would look like a saloon. Swingin' doors, big wood plank floors, windows across the front. A large heavy wood bar to belly up to and stools that had tractor seats to "cup your buns ever so gently", as he said. That boy made me laugh a lot. The cook would make food that stuck to your ribs (if you are a fella) or to your rump (if you are a filly). Either way, it'd be good country food and everyone would be welcome. Then he got that damn disease and the good Lord took him home before any of us was ready. His dream went with him until his bride decided to help 'ol Kev breathe new life into me.
Well now after rememberin' all that I need a drink. So I'll quit yackin at y'all and come back to tell you more tales of MO and how I came to be. And here's a little quick story........why do I get asked this when my crap hair is obviously gray?! So my answer, I think, is perfect. Cheers and see ya when the sun rises again (unless I'm out shootin' shit again!)
Just a little quip to ponder:
Everyone Asks:
Is your hair naturally red?
Me:
No, I soak my hair every night in the blood of my enemies!
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